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30 September, 2004
- die - kill myself -or kill someone. Just thoughts... just happen to be thinking about death. thats all.
Sometimes, to be chosen by GOD is the worst fate ever. But the life that lies beyond fate? Bliss.
An age in between. Innocence and adulthood. And in her innocence, she was blessed. To know. All and everything. And in the same instance, it was to be taken away. But in the taking, knowledge was left behind. Knowledge of her end. Two deaths. One to die young, but having lived a life of happiness,despite adversities.And to be loved by all who crossed her path. Charisma and talents were given aplenty, but trust, her greatest difficulty.Strong and passionate, she would live in extremes.And when her time comes, her death will be mourned by many. Another, to live a long life, filled with loneliness. Great achievements will be her mark on earth.Truly, she will be a revolutionary, blessed with a great mind. But lonliness will be her constant companion.Alone she will live, alone she will die. She cannot choose. She knows of how her end will come about, but choose she cannot.Living as she does, her only option. How and what will happen in her life is not up to her.Only time will tell which she is destined to fulfill. how wonderfully wicked.
When you know that everyday that you live, Is a day that brings you closer to death. Why prolong it? Kay. No i am not suicidal.
29 September, 2004
Silence.
Do you hear that? There- that's it. Nothing. But GOD. No Drums. No Guitars. Peace. Can you give me that? And if you can - add in Hope. And Happiness. Then you have a deal. No, i'm not asking for much. Just............................ SILENCE DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kay.
Far away. Away to a place where no one can keep us apart. A place, where we can be free. Free from limits, free from boundaries, Free to love. Free.
LAW vs. JUSTICE.
The Law upholds Justice. HA HA. The law is ever-changing, it changes with society norms and culture.It is an entity by itself. It is a series of procedures and protocol, and anything but meant to complement justice. I guess one could say, that these are in place to prevent abuse of Authority in the name of Justice. Very necessary. People are evil, Children die, yada yada. But just think, If Justice were to be so fickle, we would all be living in times of debauchery and deceit. (Not much of a descent from present times, but in any case, we'll take what we can get.) So, can something so quite unpredictable serve as a standard tool for serving Justice? Hardly. This thing we've created? Law? It's not making a very effective servant. So compare, is the wind blowing? or is the tree shaking? Think about it. The red font WILL makes sense in a while.
To understand is futility. It is better to attain. But in order to attain, one must understand. I guess, to attain then, without understanding, is brilliance. Ramnujam Ramkumar.
There are times where i tell myself i don't want to be like you,ever, and then some, when i want to be your shadow. That must be what they call, love. Or maybe, if it is possible to equate this to envy, It can be called hate. You pick.
27 September, 2004
Ever had moments you wish you could live in forever? I've had those. Plenty. The problem is, as unexpectedly as those moments show up, they never seem to last. Moments like yesterday during dinner, my mum was clearing the table, My brother was asking her something, but obviously she didn't hear what he said. And mum being mum, gave some nonsensical answer. At that point, me and my brother looked at each other and started laughing. We laughed and laughed and laughed. It was almost like laughing with the three clowns. (Mel, Nad, Azai.) And then we suddenly stopped and just looked at each other. Because it's been so long since anyone has really laughed in our home that it sounded so foreign. The entire family was quiet for like, 2 minutes. Awkward. But that moment where we just laughed? That moment, i could just live in forever.
26 September, 2004
No really. I only do it when asked to, but fortunately whatever i write sounds interesting *lol*, well admit it, isn't that why you keep coming back here? * It's times like this that make me glad that i haven't gotten round to getting a tag board* Today i am going to blog about..... *drumroll* ' ' ' ' ' ' Nope not about Bollywood..... ' ' ' ' ' ' Nope not about whatever it is i usually go on and on about... '' ' ' ' ' ' ' But........ I am going to talk about Lurve. Ladies and Gentleman... Dr. Kay is in... She's gonna tell you all about love... and show you exactly how much she doesn't know about it. Help. I don't need love yet right? I mean i keep telling myself.. ok Kay.. you like this guy.. and then i try to like him, and for a while i even trick myself into believing that i like him. But the moment i decide not to like him.. there it goes, all my feelings like they never existed. There was someone i used to like, he helped me in alot of ways. Helped me climb out of my shell etc., he was'nt even cute. Sort of looked like William Hung after the not-so-sucessful makeover. But what made me appreciate him was... his spirit, and his laughter, and his Voice. Strange.He just used to shimmer with an aura. He was like an Angel, to me that is. To everyone else he was an irritating prat. And when they found out that i liked him their first reaction was- "Are you blind?". But hey, who said i was looking at his face? I was looking at his soul.And that, i found absolutely breath-taking. And then, slowly admiration turned into despair, and there i went straight back into depression. This time, it was because of him. After that i graduated, and didn't see him for a long time, when i finally did see him, OMG i began to wonder exactly what did i see in him? Then i ask myself, is it that i've become shallow, or have my tastes simply changed? Now here i am looking for someone to like again, but this time i feel more guarded. like- don't like anyone you know won't like you back. And the one that i do supposedly "like", what if i actually don't like him? ' ' ' Good God, I knew watching Devdas that many times was gonna make me speak funny. Imagine what's gonna happen afer i direct it. Stay tuned for more nonsensical meanderings. Till then this is Dr. Kay signing off. You know i never did get that last bit.Till then this is Dr. Kay. */lol/*
20 September, 2004
I simply appreciate it. I do not buff it. Devdas just happens to be classic. That i enjoyed. And that was followed by enjoying more Bollywood films like Kal Ho Na Ho, and TehZeeb, and Mast. I repeat i am not a bollywood buff.
i am going to tell you how i broke the news to MEL What news? Well no its not what you think... I'm talking about ... Breaking the news to him that he's Dramatec's play's leading man. No offence mel i do love you, thats no secret bwahahhaha.... well it went something like this: Nad: Mel you want to line your eyes or not huh? Kay: Yea then your eyes will be bigger. Mel: no thanks then i'll look like Hafeez. Kay: oh please you're not half as hot as he is. (note: i was IGNORED, HE IS HOT!!! HE IS!! HE IS!!) Nad: since we're all going to be in Devdas, you might have to line your eyes anyway. Kay: Hmm , yea Mel You better learn how to learn how to line your eyes , especially since you're gonna be Devdas. That's when he changed seats, and i started handsigning to Nad , asking if he heard me. Which she obviously could not understand, so i said it out loud anyway. And Mel said, " yea i heard you." And just like that a star was born. wahahhahah. nonsense.
and i've had this blog since when? 21/01/2004. How shameful.Hardly beats Mel's 234 posts But i should take heart. There are some who have yet to hit the decade mark. Yes MX i'm talking about you. wahahha... Today i am going to talk about- DEVDAS yes its DramaTec's next project and its gonna ROCK!!!... Know why? cause we've got good actors thats why. And a great director. *Evil Grin* Heh. Kidding. For those of you in the blur that would be me. By the way this is the cast list: Melvyn : Devdas (Believe it or not. I kept this for last to be discussed and before i could open my mouth to make a suggestion, the other four outvoted me by unanimously picking MEL. bleargh.) Good choice though. wahahhaha Amanda: Paro Spirited girl, real nice, abit over-enthusiastic, but i'm not complaining.Not really. Not yet at least. Naz : Chandramukhi Well. These are the three leads. oh yea Guess whos playing Dev's ma? Bwahahhah... Nadira. Oh naddyyyyy... The story is about this really passionate, intense young, hot lawyer who falls in love, with the girl next door.Well, he already was in love with her since childhood but the poor dude got sent away to London as a punishment from his dad for being quite naughty. You call that a punishment? I must be doing something wrong. Well anyways, he comes back looking all droolable about 10 years later, meanwhile, Paro, his obssessive-compulsive childhood sweetheart keeps the flame alive- literally, Yes the girl actually keeps a lamp and talks to it. (Don't ask me, i didn't write the story.) However, things get messed up over stolen guavas and dancers on the banks of Ganga, (Only Bollywood is capable of this) and the matriarches fall out. Paro's mother makes a bet that she will get Paro married to a guy richer than Dev's family within a week or she'll be dead on the 8th day.Sheesh. Our dear Paro, in any case has alternative plans, being the obsessive-compulsive wretch that she is, she sneaks into Dev's room at 2 in the morning. One would think that she would ask him to elope, but what does she do? she asks him if he loves her. Now really, whats the point? Well to cut it short they get discovered and Dev fights with his Daddy-o, packs up his luggage and leaves the house in a huff. Our brilliant hero then writes Paro a letter saying that their love was not meant to be and that it was just an infatuation, and then she, also in a huff, decides to get married to a rich bastard with three kids and a thing still going on for his dead wife. Well all in all the only person who ought to feel relieved is Paro's mum, seeing how she doesn't have to die and all. Anyways, Dev goes to his friends house, this drunkard guy named Chunni Babu, and he ends up visiting the courtesans to take his mind off things. But when he gets there, he takes one look at Chandramukhi's face and runs straight back to Paro. (Figures, he was the only sober guy there.) Paro by then is awaiting her bridegroom and is ready to be wed.Too late buddy boy. And then he watches her get married, burns up his old room, gets drunk and is found on the streets by no other than, our Dear Lady Marmalade, Chandramukhi.How Coincidental. He does meet Paro again at his Dad's funeral, and promises her that he will come and die at her doorstep, like some bloody stray cat. Eventually he gets thrown out of his home thanks to strangely Disney-like( think Hyena from lion king) evil Sister-in-law. Our hero slowly turns into sloth subsisting solely on alcohol, while being entertained by Senorita Hag, Chandramukhi. One fine day,while merry-making with his fellow sloths, he nearly hacks his lungs out in a coughing fit, and then the audience finds out that....*gasp* he is about to die! He finally makes peace with Chandramukhi, and leaves to go and die. He makes it half-dead to our heroine's palace's doorstep, but our dear lady's gotten herself house arrested, and sadly cannot leave the place. By the time she realises that the stinky lump at her doorstep is her sweet heart, she crashes into basically everything, while screaming her bloody head off, and gets the gate slammed at her face. In that instant, Dev dies. How sad. It's a great story really. No, really. Don't listen to me. I only watched it about 5 million times.
09 September, 2004
Next was having breakfast with Nad in the Bus canteen we decided not to go for lecture after all wahaha, when my lecturer suddenly popped out from nowhere to talk to me. it was an interesting convo really, i'm glad that everything is over. Relief and happiness-i found out that i really did like that teacher, and he's quite fun really, and a cool guy, yes. cool. And i quite missed talking to him. yay. And i think being like him is not such a bad thing really, in fact its a compliment. bwahahaha.. hear that MX its a compliment. bah. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I feel like singing.. WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU.. woohoo..
06 September, 2004
Things to be done: 1) Draft contract for employment shit thing 2) Complete my groups power point slides (psycho), not to mention my quizzes. 3) Re-do our Crim- pro, so sad.... nvr again do i want to see the words beyond reasonable doubt. 4) do my l-comm tutorial within the next hour and half or die. 5) Study for my psycho test this sat. 6) client interview. 7) minutes taking test. 8) Contract deadline is on 30 sept. 9) Have to do Crim pro tutorial. By tmw, 2 p.m. oh shit. i still need to do my script and do that summary so we can hand in our proposal for DT and not to mention four winds- got major prep work to do and both opening dates are only a few days apart. llalalallalallalalallalalalalallalaaa............................................................................................. Hopefully this week coregrp takes place. last minute cancellations are hazardous to my phone. bleh.
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