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31 July, 2005
Just finished watching Hindi movies... veer-zaara Kal ho na ho hmmmm... I appreciate what Veer says in the movie after he is acquitted of his charges. Its very... heartwarming, and it makes me wonder why most people don't see the world in that light. And when he reads it out, tears start flowing, because there is a person, who sees himself in everyone.Who sees no difference between one countryman and another. Saamiya Siddiqui is a Pakistani Lawyer, one of the very few in her country. And her country men are determined to deter her from this profession, women are simply not meant to be lawyers.And their way of detering her? They assign her an impossible case, Prisoner No. 786, a man who has never spoken since he had entered the jail premises, he was under arrest for being a political spy from India. Rajesh Rathore. So she enters, and speaks to him. And she addresses him. Veer Pratap Singh. He does not speak. She pleads with him to let her take on this case, and in order to do so, he must tell her what happened. he does not budge. So she turns to leave. Just then, an airplane soars across the sky. And he speaks. He was Veer Pratap Singh, Indian Air Force Squadron leader, who fell in love with Zaara Hayat Khan, a pakistani girl, on a rescue mission. And from then their story begins.They spend two days in each others presence. One, while he accompanies her to conduct the final funeral rites of her Nanny, who is of a different religion from hers, and comes from India, (which is why she braved the trip from PAkistan) And the other, where she goes back to his home town, upon his request that she spend just one day with him, and meets his foster parents and celebrates the Lodi festival, where couples express their love for each other at a bonfire. After that, on their way back, Veer while sending her to the train station, wishes to tell her that he's in love with her, unfortunately, her fiance turns up.Zaara'a father is stepping into politics, and he intended to wed his daughter to a politician's son, Raaza. At that point, nevertheless, he informs her of his love, and she leaves hearing from him that, to always remember that there is a man across the border who would give up his life for her. But of course, the names, Veer and Zaara can never be taken together. After her return home, Zaara realises that she is in love with him. And when Zaara's best friend begs him to come and take Zaara away, he obliges. But Zaara's mother begs with him. Zaara's father has become ill after hearing of his daughter's love. And veer says that their love is not worth someone dying. So they agree to part. But, Zaara's jealous Fiance, captures Veer, and tells him that unless he imprisons him self in Pakistan as a spy from India , he will make Zaara's life hell. And so he stays. For 22 years. In a cell. Imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, Under a name which is not his. When Saamiya fights for him, she finds it impossible not to drag Zaara into the whole tangle, which Veer does not want. He does not want to affect her life. So she decides to go to india, to find his parents. When she arrives she learns that they has passed on. And their home is now a high school for girls, just like zaara had inspired Veers' father to do, back when she came to visit them. So Saamiya goes to that place. And just as she turns to leave, she hears some one calling out Zaara's name. She stopd in her tracks and stares as a very aged zaara runs across the yard carrying a cane and chasing after a young girl. She stops in front of Saamiya to inquire who she is, but Saamiya is speechless. Cause there is Zaara, the very Zaara , Veer was protecting back in Pakistan, who is now living in his own home. In India. And he reads this poem out aloud in court once the Pakistaniu judiciary system rercognises him for who he is. i, prisoner number Seven Eighty Six Look thru the bars of the jail I see, days, months, years change to eons From the soil of this land comes the fragrance of my Bauji's (father's) fields The burning sun reminds me of my Maasi's (Mother's) cool buttermilk thia rain brings along with it the swings of my seasons this winter fills me with the warmth of the fires of my Lodi they say that this is not my country, then why, does it feel like mine? They say i am not like him. Then why, does he look like me? I, prisoner number seven eighty six, look thru the bars of the jail, I see an angel who has come down from heaven She calls herself Saamiya, and she calls me Veer. She is a complete stranger but she treats me as her own, hearing her truthful words i feel like living once more hering her promises and her vows, i feel, like doing something more. They say she is not one of mine. Then why does she fight the world for me? they say i am not like her. Then why does she look like me? I am prisoner Number seven eighty six, and i look thru the bars of the jail. I see Zaara wrapped in the colours of my village In making dreams come true, she has forgotten her own. In helping my people, she has left behind her own. Now, i feel like filling her being with happiness. I feel like living another lifetime for her. they say my county is not hers, then why is she living in my home? He says i am not like her, then why... does she look like me? i, prisoner number seven eighty six, look thru the bars of my jail. Heartwarming. Really.
Mother Board Lol. it is strange to be a mother figure. I feel old, and yet i'm only 18. Wheeeee. I love my dramatekky's this year, albeit a few weird ones. But i even love those too. Went window shopping with Brandon, MX, and Anand at DKNY and Mumbai Se. You'll never catch ME shopping there for real. $ 300 freaking bucks for a top i can easily find for cheaper at Lil'India. Easily meaning, when its not the weekend and before 6 p.m.. Argh. I've been there a total 13-14 times lol. Its quite alright that place really, especially my favouritest incense store at Tekka? Teka? w/e mall. Whee, you shd check it out ppl, at the top most flr of that building. Amazing incense there. Tried to use up the not so good sticks during CG, but ended up killing everyone. Yes, i am obsessed with incense.Sue me. Jasmine. mm-mm. tasty. Oh my. _____________________________________________________________ See, baby I know you done had your share of girls I am more than confident You won't ever have to search any streets for affection I got you What kind of girl you like I know my looks can be deceivin' Tell me am I your type My main goal is to please you What's on the schedule tonight Am I the reason you'll be treatin' I hope you have an appetite So tell me will you come and spend the night My love is like...Whoa My kiss is like...Whoa My touch is like...Whoa My sex is like...Whoa My ass is like...Whoa My body's like...Whoa And you're kissin' it WHOA... __________________________________________________________________ Ouch... Anyways, i've been laughing alot recently, thats a good thing. Laughter. Wheeeeee.... i think i get too serious and stressed (as most of you would know) too, too much. So i've been laxing recently. And i'm still feeling tired. Wah... ey you know wat, being vegetarian is not that bad. My moom has been cooking vege stuff all week long, and i've been eating vege like at school just recently. Its a change from all that chicken/meat. eurgh. Hmmm. new diet ? we'll see. And plus one of the dramatec kids is veg, and he's skinny, wonder if he got that way from being a vegetable -eater. hmmmm... okie dokes... i'm rambling, this is a pointless post, and lucky is fine, thanks for asking.
26 July, 2005
she deserves it. to be free to run. I feel physical pain. Is this what they call hurt? I'm hating this. But i relish it, cause my brain says, i prob won't be doing this for a person.
Sometimes, you have to prove yourself. Yourself, and your love. By sacrificing the things you love the most. By learning to say goodbye. Today is that time, when that some time comes to pass. Today is the day, it feels like my heart should shatter. Today, i feel as if for the first time in a long time, i could cry again. Bravely. I can't breathe. Because when the clock strikes four. I will say goodbye. Unknown to the rest of the sacrifice i would have made. Its almost as if she knows, the way she rests her head between her paws. Will i ever get used to the silence? Will i ever get used to the lack of love? All i ever wanted was for someone to love me. ANd she did. And now, i have to give her away too. How is it that the people who claim to love me, never even seem to notice me, or care for me? That the only words they care to speak are ones laced with bitterness, of the supposed betrayal and hurt i've caused them? And then they expect me to give up, the only thing that does. Come today at 4 i will say good bye to the only one, who i've come to acknowledge as my Best friend. Why? because of my irresponsibility. And suddenly... The world seems a whole lot bleaker...
24 July, 2005
Fine for now. She's going to just fine i guess. Phew. You know for someone who tries not to hold too much of an emotional connections with anything, i can't believe a dog made me worry that much. Sheesh. Still. It is good to know,that i still have a heart that can feel for others. WAHHAHHA. yea. When i watched my dog the whole night, my mother said she's never seen me with that expression on my face. Heartbroken expression.Not even when SHE was sick. It stung. And so i replied, yea, thats cause she doesn't nag at me the way you do. I couldn't help it. I hate being judged, insulted or having sarcastic remarks shoved in my face. I don't retaliate unless it stings.And i do retaliate. She wouldn't know the reaction i had in the hospital, while she was there busy dying. She wouldn't know the screaming fit i threw at my g'ma in the middle of the hospital. Because she asked her to die. Arse. What ever. Sometimes its easier to just block yourself out. From your pain, from the pain of others. Easier to look away and steel yourself. But i couldn't do that last night, while Lucky whimpered away. Shit. That can only mean two things. 1. I'm human. 2. I finally found something to call my best friend. So what am i going to do when you finally die? Cry, i guess. lol. ___________________________________________________________________
23 July, 2005
the moment i walked in through the doors this morning, i knew something was wrong, Lucky feebly pulled herself out of the corner of the living room, wagging her tail at me, and with great effort plodded towards me to give me my welcome home licks. Licks i had everyday tried to avoid by running into my room, shutting her out while she yelped. Today, it was as if she had no strength in her body. she walked back to her corner of the house and slumped in the corner. I didn't take any notice. Maybe she's not feeling well. Lucky usually follows me around the home, like my shadow always by my side whereever i go, trotting behind me, taking up residence on my bed, majority residence, and trying to gain my attention by just plonking herself on my lap, when ever she pleased. Today, she just sat and stared with her big brown eyes staring at me with the love in her eyes i had grown accustomed to for the past 5 years. Love, i had taken granted for. I reached over and touched her, she felt slack and cold. My poor dog. I felt her collar, and my blood chilled. I drew away my hand, and saw red. My heart stopped. I started screaming inside my head. And then i started screaming for real. For someone , anyone really. I grabbed a pair of scissors and started cutting the bloody collar off her neck,it was so tight it cut into her neck. She was slowly getting starngled by her collar. Oh Lord. I tried to clean her wound, and it hurt her so much, she tried to bite me. But as always in all her pain she controlled herself from attacking me. That much she loves me. She hasn't made a sound the entire day, what if her vocal chords have been affected or something. I can't even bring her to the bloody vet. Oh jesus. Please don't let my dog die. Please please please God. I love her. I do. Even now, she's silently following me through the house wagging her tail at me whenever i looked, like she's saying"look, no matter what, i'm going to keep following you." Oh God. She's not just an animal. Nothing that can show that much love is an animal, to me she's a person. Just like any of my friends. Jesus, she's the only thing i have left reminding me of my childhood. Please please don't take this away. Don't let her die. PLease. I promise.I promise once she gets better i'm bringing her away, some place she can run around all day in the open and be free and far away. ANd not worry or be scolded. Why was i such a stupid child? why did i want a puppy when i can't even look after myself? I was stupid and selfish, just like i've always been. It's always about my hurt. And i'm praying now so that she will stop suffering so that i can stop hurting. SELFISH. Please. Please.Please.
Every night before i fall into an unconscious state of being, i somehow have fallen into this pattern of procedure. It starts out before the computer, sorting through my mails, and yes, SMS. and some random chatting with people on MSN. This is accompanied by a very late dinner, soon after, i head to the showers, and following that remove contact lenses and start fixing my nightly Chai. Head to my room to read my books, and continue till i slip into sleep unknowingly, and then when my book hits the floor i awake with a start. Put away my book, Fully awake now, and then i proceed to lighting my Jasmine incense. I light it with a match, and turn off the lights, i don't blow out the flame, cause i like to watch the flame till i fall asleep, watching the little dancing light, with the beautiful scent wafting across my room, lulling my senses into believing i'm somewhere far more beautiful than my room... And then when i awake the next morning, the jasmine scent clings to my hair and clothes. Thing about my room is, it always holds this strange coolness about it, it doesn't get much light either, so its always dark, cool and fragrant. And its the only room in the house that doesn't really have the highway noises reaching it. In fact the occasional bird whistles and the sounds of trees swaying can be heard, i could stay in there forever. there are days my parents don't even know i'm home, i'm locked up in my room doing my own thing, and don't appear till late afternoon, usually prompted by a need to visit the toilet. Most of the time i'm seduced by the need to sleep. I've perfected it really. This art of slumber.
19 July, 2005
(and what's up with my titles? geez) So much for my hiatus, i have so much to say, and only one place i feel i can say it. MY BLOG. So today i'm walking back home, and i start thinking, for some insane reason about some very emotional stuff. Family, grandparents- and then it struck me that it was my Grandma's death anniversary on Sunday. Wow, it's been a year. Since the Grandmother i have never seen and will never see, died. Died asking, for my mother. And me. Her very first grandchild. Thats what struck me. On the paternal side of the family, i am child no.God-only-knows.My father's the last son. And on my maternal side, i'm child number one.My mother is the first daughter. hmm. I avoid my mother in the mornings sometimes when we're both at home. Cause she starts talking. About things i'm not prepared to hear, and when i draw back, she calls me heartless. Stuff like death, like maternal grandmothers and how children like their maternal g'mums better. I don't know about these things , don't talk to me about them. I've never been to a funeral in my entire life, i don't plan to, and i've never met your mother. Yes, your mother. I was never allowed to have anything to do with her. Oh Lord. I want to speak to my Grandfather. I want to see him. I want to share so many things. Sometimes i wonder if i ever did have a childhood filled with cousins. Whether they were real, and whether i really did grow up with them. Or whether it was my imagination. Was i really ever a kid? lol, cause sometimes, it feels like i've been carrying this heavy weight with me for so long, i wonder if i was born with it inside me. And its not a weight i can lose. Or sometimes i wonder, if THIS is the dream, the nightmare. And then i think... Why the HELL am i talking about this when i should be doing my company law project?
The way we say hi in Law. "Got your place yet?" lol. SIP. Our way of finding out whos gone where, so you see people who would usually turn the other way in corridors, good naturedly turning to you and going- "Got your place yet?" hur. But then again, the third years have turned into one big, happy, clique. So yea.
17 July, 2005
GONE ON HIATUS. TILL EVERYTHING IS BACK IN ORDER. DON"T MISS ME. I KNOW YOU WON'T. I DON'T THINK ANY ONE EVER HAS ACTUALLY. AWAY, TILL WHENEVER. Ta.
MLOCT 1 MLOCT 2 Proj. Mgt. Proj Civ. Pro Company Proj. I'm going to do all of this today... like yay... _____________________________________________________________________________________ Lol. it is much easier not believe isn't it? Than to keep searching and never finding? Just to live every day, because Kal ho naa Ho? Lol. Goals for next week - Laugh - Be happy - Get things done as best as i can - See my friends - Study - Pray. - EXERCISE Alright should probably book the basketball court... Any dramateckky's want to join me? Alright, so that will be it. To do the simple things in life, than to dwell on its complexities. Things that i don't understand, and henceforth hope will never come my way. Because its just too much effort.
16 July, 2005
I went for interview today. It wasn't until afte the interview ended that i realised- 1. i was speaking to one of my alma mater - GMGS 2. I was speaking to my lecturer's sister. 3. ... it didn't connect until i told Nad " eh nad, that lady who interview me ah, Ms. Lim Poh Choo ah, she really look like Ms. Lim Poh Bee le!... she even talk like her sia.. (long Pause) OH MY GOD .I was talking to her sister!" Lol... That was funny. _______________________________________________________________________________ Feelings..... Nope, i'm alright. I'm happy. Life goes on. Theres always another day. Another... Another.. Another cloud of happiness that will drift my way. Another monsoon of dreams. For now its good to be the way i am. Quiet.
15 July, 2005
Stupid is how i feel right now. Extremely stupid. Why do i insist on dragging up old feelings when it been so long, and so over? Why make that stupid U-Turn now? Will it ever change? When did this happen with out my knowing? I feel stupid because i'm wasting my time. My feelings, My life. Over something, that is dumb. That is insignificant, that is nothing in the big scheme of things. But if i had one chance, one day, one moment. I'd treasure it forever. Two moments. Just for two moments, the caravans of our dreams made a stop And then you went your way, and i went mine. Just for two moments existed the story of our hearts. And then you went your way, and i went mine. And then you went your way, and i went mine. Was that really you? Or was that a luminous Sunbeam? Was that really you or a blossoming bud? Was that really you? or was that the Monsoon of my dreams? Was that really you or a cloud of happiness? Was that really you or a blooming flower? Was that really you or did i find a beautiful new world? Just for two moments, the caravans of our dreams made a stop. And then you went your way, and i went mine. Just for two moments existed the story of our hearts, And then you went your way, and i went mine. Just for two moments. Do Pal Ruka Khwabon Ka Karvan Aur Phir Chal Diyeh Tum Kahan Hum Kahaan Do Pal Ki Thi Yeh Dilon Ki Daastaan Aur Phir Chal Diyeh Tum Kahaan Hum Kahaan … (2) Tum The Ke Thi Koi Ujli Kiran Tum The Yaa Koi Kali Muskayi Thi Tum The Yaa Sapnon Kaa Thaa Saavan Tum The Ke Khushiyon Ki Ghataa Chaayehe Thi Tum The Ke Thaa Koi Phool Khilaa Tum The Yaa Milaa Thaa Mujhe Nayaa Jahaan Do Pal Rukaa Khwabon Kaa Kaarvaan Aur Phir Chal Diyeh Tum Kahaan Hum Kahaan Do Pal Ki Thi Yeh Dilon Ki Daastaan Aur Phir Chal Diyeh Tum Kahaan Hum Kahaan
So, you've probably read Melly's and Nad's blogs. www.sitbehind.blogspot.com www.nutzcaze.blogspot.com I don't know why, but it does that to them. And every time we had to rehearse that scene. It felt terrible. It was acting, GOOD acting, yes. But it still carried with it the fact that these people were dragging up these feelings from their past to do this scene. And that brings about tremendous guilt. Apart from that it brings fear. And familiarity. Maybe its an Indian thing, but those lines, are almost word for word stuff i can remember was said by my parents. Yes, i see Kaushalya's regret and pain in those lines, Dev's desperation. What i also see, and feel is the slap my father gave me when all those thefts took place in Dramatec. Because i failed, as a leader. The way i was not able to explain myself to him. Either way, i had let him down, again. Let other people down. I cried then. I remember the way once, i was nearly disowned for going to church. And mocked, and put down. And also scolded for standing up to an uncle who was putting my parents down because of my church going. But they weren't there to see it, they only ever saw my talking back, and they deduced it is my church attendance that led to this behaviour. Misunderstood. Lol. I could cry then. But over time, when something is hit hard enough, it tends to harden. And ever when you feel like giving in to your tear ducts, a part of you is still holding on tight. A part that never, ever relents. And its just during these occasions. Hmmm, come to terms with these things. But reminders don't help either. Thank God its over, for good hopefully. I don't want to see my friends cry again.
12 July, 2005
i'll celebrate on the 500th on lol. poor blog. Abandoned, then abused, and used as my outlet millions of times... geez. oh well. i'm still waiting for the firms to call.. so far i've gotten three replies. Telling me i need to resend my resume. ... so i sent and the wait is killing me... lol what if i'm the only one who doesn't get a place? i'm well known for this kind of thing. i need to get my act together. i just seem to drift along my life without doing anything about who i am or what i am doing here.... i need to get a lot more responsible, and less lazy. And i need to get things moving. tsktsk.. oh well.
10 July, 2005
Death is remarkable. Terrible. But remarkable. When people die. People mourn. Their tear ducts produce tears, that speak of emotion within. When people die, we say nice things, send hampers, food, condolences, and various other niceties. The spending of money, to placate the bereaved, to send some help in their time of need. In times of death we react in time tested ways that our society has set in the event of a passing on. Why? why do we hate death so, but celebrate birth? Ask yourself? Why do we celebrate birth, when we know that there comes another being into existence, to be put through what we all know is a harsh life, and judging by today's situation, at any time is endangered? Take the bus, watch out, you may get blown up. Take the train, the same fate awaits you. Take the plane, hey! are we making an emergency landing on the Eiffel Tower? Heh. while i'm at it, cross the road,- hey, if anyone sees my spine lying around, try not to step on it. Before you pick up a trend on how our various transport systems are a hazard to the human race, as a result of clever manipulation of terror cells around the world. i'm going to have to ask you chill genius, because that isn't the point of this rant. You could be taking a shit in the toilet and a snake could get your ass. Big deal. When birth happens, it becomes almost natural to anticipate death. Because it happens, and its just around that corner, in the form of a accelerator pedal under that reckless teenager's foot. In that Gulab Jamun you eat soaked with syrup. Death is everywhere, and when it finally happens, it is a release, not an end. A release to the rest of your life. A life that takes place only after living. Why do we cry? And not celebrate? No more problems, no more worries. Hey, you've already faced the worst of it. You're dead. Hah. ----------------------------------------------------------------- CONTRADICTION. while the post above boasts the merits of death, I think the worst thing that could happen is the passing of someone who's been your shelter your entire life. For some, its your parents. Call it selfish. but its true. And doesn't get to you immediately after. But eventually, Everytime you wake up, it hits you. That you'll never see your mom again. Never speak to her. Never hug her or see her. Never smell her. Taste her cooking. Hear her ask you if you're alright. If you've eaten. Never ever again. And thats when you realise its permanent. For awhile, you delude yourself into thinking its temporary. And then after a while it sinks in. That she gone. Somewhere. far away. And then you're alone, left to fend for yourself. The world suddenly looks like a scary place. When i was in primary school, i used to be afraid of everything. I used to cry all the time, in Primary one. the teachers scared me, the students scared me, the loud noises, THE TOILETS. And then i imagined. that my mother was there. Holding my hand. It was ok. Whereever i went she came along, holding my hand always. Sometimes, i swore i could even see her, out of the corner of my eye. My mother. My imaginary friend. lol. So when someone elses parents die, you feel like running back home just to check if yours is alright, to make sure nothing happened in the time you were gone. For awhile you wake up thanking God that it wasn't your mother, and asking for more time. You do that as a kid, never realising, that with everyday that comes, every step thats taken brings you closer to that day when you finally have to say good bye. And then will come an age, when you realise and accept, that the time is drawing nearer, when you suddenly start attending more and more funerals, when you start wondering when that mourning person is going to be you. It is no use to naively believe that your feeble prayers would push that day away any further. when it finally does happen, you just tell yourself each day. Now, why are you crying? we'll see each other again. YOu're just in that other room, doin your own thing as always. Behind that curtain, same as those times we used to play hide-and-seek, only now it may take me a little longer to find you. But i will eventually. Eventually, as always. And we'll laugh. Together. Always.
09 July, 2005
its 1.05 p.m. on a Saturday and i am proud of the limitation i have imposed on meself with regards to brunch. 1 green apple and a bowl of Nestum. Like Yippee! Usually it coffee with bread or instant noodles. Followed by gastric pain. Hem hem. Am making better food choices again. And when i say again, i mean when i was in Sec. Sch i used to eat soup with Tofu or plain tuna with Cheese, that kind of high protein diet, no gassy drinks etc.No carbohydrates. And then i got so depressed during "o" s i just went WTF,gave up and binged. for three months. And here i am. So sad ah. And here i am at it again.Not the bingeing i mean. The dieting. Only i am going with the soup diet coupled with Hi protein diet. and plenty of exercise, thank you. No more instant noodles, or coffee (my life source) am staying away from it for health reasons too. yay. no more overly Carbohydrate containing foods. My Carbos will be in the form of Fruits and wholemeal stuff. and Grains. Eurgh. Can i die now? Well if it means i get skinny, oops sorry, must be politically corect lest i have concerned psychological types swooping down on me, i mean, if i get slimmer and healthier at the end of it all, it'll be worth it. I am doing this for health reasons. Not just to look ultra gorgeous in that prom dress and do my Indian genes proud. Nope. And i'm shaving my hair off. Sought permission from Daddy-o, he didn agree. But since when did i ever listen to the 'rents? So i'll go off to get myself a scarf and a cap, if i'm going to be hairless for a lil while. hmph. Or shd i do that after i'm done with sch? aiyah. My life is so tedious.
03 July, 2005
I feel unhealthy. ARGH!!!! I have not done any exercise since Devdas!I'm not sure if my bones can even move the way they used to anymore, feels like my joints melded together or something. Oh my God.... I am 18 and in the worst shape i have ever been in my entire life. I could just die. I'm not talking about losing weight, more about body tone and flexibility, and missing shoulder blades, (they seem to have disappeared under my flesh along with my collar bones.) Lets not even go to my arms. Or hip bones. Or waist. Or skin. I think my mother has just about given up, and has conceded to having a ugly sloth for a daughter. Over the past three years, i think i've gained about 15-20 kg. And then lost and gained and lost and gained, depending on w/e i did. I desperately need to slip back into the 50+ region. Come to think of it, prom's coming at the end of the year, or beginning next yr. I'll wear bedsheets. i'm 18 nearing 19, and no where near the person i should be in any aspect of my life. Tsk. And i can't believe i just put all of this down. But since i have and public scrutiny is the best motivation ever, (a.k.a friends who tease) maybe this will trigger me into moving my ass and exercising. And losing fat. Not weight, but fat. Loss of fat translates into loss of weight. No more choclates, or coffee, or excessive rice-eating, or cheese balls, or meat (supposed to be healthy, but i feel funny eating meat these days, like nauseous, ya know? nvm.) VEGETABLES. FRUITS. WATER. Yay!!! Say hello to healthy Kay! Oh Jesus.
02 July, 2005
Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. The seriousness of your love:You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with? Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success. How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying. What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel. Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high. Bright and CheerfulYou are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well. You value your friendships: 70%You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends. Are You Nosy? Nosy Level: 50%You may seem to be a nosy person to some people, but actually you are quite a serious person who's not at all interested in gossip. You just like to know what's going on around you. It's a natural interest and you can get offended when people tell you they think you're a sticky-beak. The Mass CommunicatorYou have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.
My brother is the highest in english and literature in his class, as well as one of the top ten students. I am in shock, all he does is play soccer. Looks like boy genius is finally using his genius, but he was always scoring in Science and maths what... must be genes i tell you. heh. Anyways, my father was comparing my Secondary one results with his, (i fared better than he did) and one of my kiddie photos was found while unearthing my report card. I look very different when i was young. My parents actually kissed that photo. that little girl must have been a darling. And she was according to my Father, never raised her voice, was always patient, and quiet and loving. Quite a contrast to what i am now. Like i said, that girl is no more. Guess you'll just have to put up with whatever you have now. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Was watching the taped turned to CD version of Devdas, i am amazed, its really good on small screen. good lighting yada yada. I love it.
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